How to Handle Insecurity in Relationships

And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus… Ephesians 2:6 (NIV)

Recently my wife and I were having a much-needed evening alone. The children were all out, and we were able to talk for quite a while uninterrupted. I was really enjoying connecting with her on such a deep level, when all of a sudden, she remembered she had laundry that needed to come out of the dryer. She bolted from the room, leaving me sitting there by myself.

It’s a little embarrassing as a grown man to admit this, but for a few moments I was overcome with feelings of insecurity and rejection. Was she not enjoying the conversation as much as I was? Had she been thinking about household chores the whole time I’d been sharing my heart with her?

Doubting oneself, having poor self-esteem, or lacking confidence is normal, but it’s a hard thing to talk about … and even more difficult to admit when we struggle with it. Whether it’s a boss who belittles our work, a fiancée who breaks off a relationship, or hearing about a social function we weren’t invited to, feelings of insecurity can affect anyone.

In my experience, the greatest antidote to a struggle with relational insecurity is to find true worth in Christ. As believers in Christ, we are fully loved and fully accepted. In fact, Scripture says He chose us to be His before the creation of the world.

If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you. John 15:19 (NIV)

Are you feeling insecure today? Cling to the One who knows you best and loves you most.

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